"Inhale a drag, Exhale the truth"

I spend sleepless nights inhaling slow, long drags from my cigarette, praying that when I exhale I will be fine, but that seems simply selfish of me. I feel a scream rising up from my stone cold chest but I swallow it with the false idea that I’m ok, and it would be silly of me to allow such obnoxious behaviour. I find myself wondering when all of my unspoken thoughts and hidden memories will catch up to me and simply grasp me by the throat and squeeze till my rythmic heartbeat ceases to exist and in that very moment, I am fine, but like a cruel joke the grip loosens and I grasp for a foothold on reality and I realize that one breath contains everything that I have so desperately been trying to escape. Am I ill? Or am I the only being who’s eyes are open to this sad, pathetic excuse of a perfect society. Oh God I’m a terrible mess today but to the people around me I am merely a selfish, arrogant teen grasping for attention and acceptance. I am terrified and this society of ignorant, blind souls disgusts me but I am too physically and mentally exhusted from the constant battle with myself to open the eyes of the lost to the truth of this corruption that suffocates us, but for now I will sit here and exhale another long drag of this cigarette as these empty lyrics ring loud in my ears. As the soft glow of the sun rising from the horizon, I think to myself how such a beautiful day holds such pain filled memories as the bitter taste of the filter seeps into my lungs as I whisper, I will be fine today, just fake smiles and long sleeves, repeat, and repeat, and repeat…
The end